About two and a half years ago, I was out of work on disability trying to heal and get better so I could start chemotherapy for my kidneys (had lupus nephritis). I couldn't start the chemo because I had consistent bronchitis and working in a middle school with germs wasn't helping, so my doctor thought it would be best to take some time off. Well, at first I bawled. Oh my God--this was serious. If this chemo didn't work, I'd need dialysis. If that didn't work, I'd need a kidney transplant. Not to mention, I might lose my hair and who knows what else (I know in the grand scheme of things the hair loss is nothing). I also was freaked out that people at work, my husband and my in-laws wouldn't understand why I couldn't work during this time. I only was having chemo once a month. Daily I had to tell myself I was doing what was best and was needed for me.
After I got over the initial freak-out, I actually felt so free. So happy. Which was so weird, because I was so sick. That started to tell me something. Maybe teaching wasn't where I was meant to be. Maybe teaching added to my illness. Well during that time, I found the book Taking Flight by Kelly Rae Roberts. You could say this is what started it all. Yes, I've always wanted to paint, but this gave me the push I needed to jump in. I read about her whispers and listening to them. I knew I had whispers too. Long silenced whispers. But having all this time off gave me lots of time to start really hearing these whispers. I found myself painting at 3 in the morning because my medicine gave me a hard time sleeping, but I was so excited, even though I would normally be so mad that I wasn't sleeping when I should have been. It didn't matter because I knew I could take a nap later and I was also full of joy and hope. As I spent months away from teaching I read more from other inspirational souls like Christine Mason Miller and Patti Digh to name a few. Knowing my health was serious, I also started realizing that I needed to take my happiness into my own hands as well. I started taking little steps by opening an etsy shop after e-mailing Kelly Rae Roberts and her suggesting as much. I started applying to art shows. I got accepted to some. People told me that my work was joyful and happy. I told them it made me feel joyful and happy creating it. That was just the start. Brave Girls came into my life as well. In addition to creating, I started realizing that I was important and that my dreams mattered, no matter what. 
I could probably write much more about my journey to where I am now, but I just wanted to share a few bits and pieces. I want to just say thank you to those amazing women who gave me the courage to jump into a new chapter of my life. Though I still have lupus, my kidneys are in remission. Though my salary is much less as a library aide than a teacher, I'm so damn happy. Thank you to all of you. All of you who are inspiring and encouraging me everyday. Not just the well-known artists and authors, but all of the women I've met on-line who are helping me fly as well as my friends Carrie and Jenny. I'm so blessed. Thank you thank you thank you.
